


the heart is the finnickiest of patients

by oretlumiere



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: Anxiety, Awkward Tension, F/F, Found Family, Friendship, Gen, it's really very sweet though i promise, vespa's distrust of new people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29421021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oretlumiere/pseuds/oretlumiere
Summary: She’d been in this room plenty of times by now, in the few days she’d spent staying in the lighthouse with Buddy. And Jet Sikuliaq, apparently. Vespa's issue with Sikuliaq wasn't just petty jealousy, but we'll get to that. The matter at hand was the table between them that seemed a mile long. And, of course, how they end up on the same side of said table.
Relationships: Buddy Aurinko & Jet Sikuliaq, Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay, Vespa Ilkay & Jet Sikuliaq
Comments: 10
Kudos: 15
Collections: TPP Valentine's Exchange





	the heart is the finnickiest of patients

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ser_atlantisite](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ser_atlantisite/gifts).



> woohoo!! I am so excited and have been dying for Valentine's Day to get this out!! I had so much fun writing it, and I hope you (the reader) and you (shelle) love it just as much as I do!!

_Part One—The Lighthouse  
_  
Sim-wood came after sim-food, so it wasn’t as developed. The table and chairs in the dining room of the lighthouse backroom were made of it. Cedar, Vespa thought.  
  
One table, a circle she estimated about a four-foot diameter. Four chairs, standard size, probably lighter than genuine wood would have been, so relatively easy to pick up, if needed. Some stray papers on the counter, of no use to her. One door. On her side of the room, she’d made sure of that. It led to the main room of the bar, not outside, but there were two doors in that room leading out to the desert.  
  
She didn’t go through all the cabinets and drawers in the room when she had the faculties to, she felt she’d owed Buddy that. She _had_ done so the previous night, however. Basic silverware, dishes, spare bottles they didn’t keep in the bar proper. Nothing useful if you weren’t creative, but Vespa didn’t need to be. She had her own supply. It was just. . . useful, to know the ins and outs of a room you’re in for longer than two minutes.  
  
She’d been in this room plenty of times by now, in the few days she’d spent staying in the lighthouse with Buddy. And Jet Sikuliaq, apparently. They were friends now. Well, friends might not have been the best fitting word. From the small interactions she’d seen between them so far, their particular relationship seemed different from “friends.” More solid. Ran deeper.  
  
She didn’t like to think about what Buddy had gotten up to while they’d been apart. The new relationships she’d added, Vespa liked to think about even less.  
  
He was sitting at the sim-cedar dining table now, Sikuliaq. Not saying anything, not even looking bothered by it, just sitting there, some foul-smelling mug in his hands, resting on the tabletop.  
  
Buddy’s closeness with the man wasn’t the only reason she disliked Sikuliaq on sight. It was one of the pros she’d found about him, actually, if Buddy placed her trust in him, that was a good sign. She was a good judge of people. It was like she could see right through most, honestly, it was… kind of incredible, when it wasn’t terrifying.  
  
Anyway, her issue with Sikuliaq wasn’t just petty jealousy. He was big, to say the least. Nearing seven feet and bulky with it. And he _knew_ things about her, things she definitely hadn’t told him. He didn’t try to be shy about it, didn’t act like he had the upper hand on her because of it, but it was an unfair advantage, plain and simple. All she knew about him was his name and the more famous moments of his career.  
  
Vespa didn’t like how easy he looked sitting at that table, like he’d spent years sitting there, like she knew he had. Vespa didn’t like how wary she was around him. Vespa especially didn’t like how clearly Buddy had caught on to that particular fact. She’d left the pair to go pick up dinner from some place she knew downtown. Vespa was not keen on being alone with Sikuliaq, but she was less excited about the idea of being on the street right then, where she’d be vulnerable.  
  
 _”I trust you two will get along for a mere twenty minutes?”_ She hated how clearly directed at her the comment had been. Sikuliaq would have no problem sitting quietly and not running himself out of his own mind with overthinking. Vespa was the one standing as far from him as she could get, stood tense against the counter, making this encounter a standoff out of habit. A habit that has aided in her survival up until this point, she reminded herself.  
  
One table. Four chairs. One door, nothing between her and it. One plastic covered window on the opposite wall.  
  
The air in the room was stagnant. Tense with a weird energy that Vespa had no idea if Sikuliaq felt as well. She never seemed to know what he felt about anything at all, really. That was another thing—she could never get a read on him. Maybe that’s why she felt the need to break the silence. It was a better excuse than _I got too jittery cause of made-up tension and can’t keep my trap shut when I am_.  
  
“What’s that shit you’re drinking? It reeks.” Whyyy was that the first thing that came to her mind to say to the giant man across the room? Idiot.  
  
To her surprise, he answered calmly.  
  
“Tea. Jovian mint with two sugars.” That pissed her off, in a way she knew was unfounded. Why was he so calm when she felt like tearing her own hair out from the silence?  
  
“Is it any good?” Idle small talk was the worst. She knew how strained it sounded, even to her own ears.  
  
“I enjoy it. Though, with the comment you made on its smell, I doubt you would.”  
  
Was that passive aggressive? It didn’t sound passive aggressive, but then again, nothing he said did. She wasn’t sure he had the ability.  
  
“...Right.” Another too-long pause. “What do you do?” A look. “Like, for work. It’s not like the bar was exactly open before Friday.”  
  
“You’re correct about the bar, it was not. I am a colleague of Buddy’s. Thievery, mainly.”  
  
“Oh. Right.” She should've guessed that, it was glaringly obvious, now.  
  
It went on like that for a while. Stilted, forced chatter, with awkward silence between. Usually, Vespa liked when people were like her, more in their heads than out loud. It meant they knew how to shut up. But this quiet? She couldn’t stand it. And she couldn't tell whether it was her brain or the absence of Buddy that made the energy in the room so eerie.  
  
“You and Buddy seem… close.” She said eventually. She knew her voice was steady, made sure no emotion showed on her face, but she was shocked at how easily Sikuliaq saw through her.  
  
“Does that bother you? I know much has changed in the years you have been apart.” Open. Neutral. Just like every other goddamn thing this guy has said so far.  
  
“No,” she said, too fast. Whatever, she moved on just as quickly. “Just… How’d you meet? I guess.”  
  
He didn’t stiffen, or make a face, or do anything to betray what was going on in his head. But it did take him a minute to formulate a response to what she _thought_ would be an easy question.  
  
“It was some years ago, now. I was unwell. Buddy helped me out of a difficult situation, and I her. I’m sure you’re familiar with that particular habit of hers.”  
  
Despite herself, she coughs out a laugh.  
  
“Yeah, Bud’s always been like that. Fancied herself projects, back in the day. Guess some things never change, do they?” The question trailed off, rhetorical. Sikuliaq replied anyway.  
  
“No, they do not. Certain qualities about people remain even through the harshest of events.”  
  
The implication of what exactly was the “harshest of events” he mentioned sobers the atmosphere immediately from the hesitant civility that had begun to manifest. Vespa draws into herself again, where she had started to unloosen her limbs from her body. So much for getting along. Sorry, Bud.  
  
“Do not mistake my statement for a slight on you, Vespa—”  
  
“Don’t,” she gritted out. The name felt out-of-place from his voice. Unfamiliar.  
  
“Doctor Ilkay, my mistake. I do not wish to upset you, but I feel as though pretending the events of the last 15 years haven’t happened is not a wise idea.”  
  
“Yeah, what do you know about wise ideas, huh?” It was a jab, a knee-jerk reaction to feeling chastised by a man she met days ago. There was another long pause as he thought over what to say.  
  
“Much more than you think, I expect. What did you order for dinner tonight? I didn’t catch it.”  
  
And just like that they’re back in the swing of things. It seems Sikuliaq, for all his solemn gravity, wanted to stick to the heavy shit about as much as she did. The sticky, caught feeling didn’t unravel completely, but she did loosen up again, slowly. She could see herself being civil with Sikuliaq again.  
  


Buddy arrived home, to the lighthouse, quietly. She didn’t wish to disturb whatever peace her two closest people had made, or, worse, startle Vespa too bad.  
  
To her surprise, as she walked closer to the backroom of the lighthouse bar, Buddy heard voices from the doorway ahead. Even closer, faces. Relaxed faces, at that. Vespa had moved from her silent spot against the counter to sit at the table with Jet, and they were talking. It seemed lighthearted, even, something she’d struggled to have with Vespa herself the past few days.  
  
She allowed herself a moment—or three, if she was completely honest—to smile at the scene. Buddy could get used to this. She wanted to have the _opportunity_ to get used to this.  
  
But, as soon as it came, the moment (or three) was over, and she made the Aurinko-brand grand entrance, dinner for two in tow. Immediately, the room lightened, and she did too. It was a certain kind of peace to have your family all in one place. A certain kind of fear, too.  
  


* * *

  
 _Part Two—The Carte Blanche  
_  
A routine errand run was the target of Vespa’s agitation, today. She wasn’t the one on it, no, that was Buddy. Maybe she’d feel better if she was. What would be best was the two of them, on the ship, _together_. But, obviously, she didn’t often get her way in that vein.  
  
The metal floors seemed to be her second target, if her pacing had any say in the matter. She said it helped her think, it really just mirrored the way her own thoughts chased in circles around each other. For some reason, when Vespa wasn’t paying attention, her feet led her to the kitchen. The dining area, more specifically, but they were basically the same room. Arbitrary labels.  
  
Sikuliaq was already there, doing something at the counter. After a minute of watching, she concluded it was tea he was making. That rank Jovian goop he always insisted on keeping in stock. Thinking about the sour excuse for tea got her mind off the Buddy thing for a minute.  
  
At least, it did, until Sikuliaq turned around right then and spotted her in the doorway. God, could she look less weird? All at once she was aware of how she, and all her five-feet-and-change, had been staring silently at him for the past who knows how long. He looked shocked to see her. She didn’t think she would’ve been able to recognize the change in his expression, months ago. That’s what you get for living with someone on a cramped spaceship, she guessed.  
  
“Vespa, I had not expected to see you.”  
  
She shrugged, false nonchalance coming off her in waves. “Yeah, well, it’s not like there’s a lot of places to _be_ on this ship.”  
  
He nodded, sitting at the table as if she had never interrupted him. She stood awkwardly in the doorway for a moment longer, unsure what to do with herself. Did he expect her to stay? Did he want her to piss off somewhere else?  
  
In the middle of her internal debate, he looked up from his cup, face impassive. “Are you going to sit?”  
  
She paused. “Yeah… yeah, I think I will.” So, she did.  
  
Just because she had gotten used to Sikuliaq’s presence did not mean she trusted him much more than she did a few months ago, first meeting him. She _did_ trust him, on account of Buddy trusting him as much as she did, but… she was still wary. Of everyone here, really.  
  
They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes. At least, Vespa thought it was companionable. They sat like that a lot, come to think of it. Both people of few words, more in their own heads than anything. And goddamn was Vespa in her own head today.  
  
She just couldn’t stop thinking. About Buddy, about every variable in the plan, about the fact that they didn’t even have a plan, it was just a supply run, why would they, about every way it could all go horribly, spectacularly wrong. She got a lot of steps in earlier.  
  
When Sikuliaq next spoke, Vespa’s knife was in her hand. Fiddling with it, a habit she picked up years ago and seemed not to have lost. The blade danced idly in her fingers when she glanced up to listen to the man across from her.  
  
“Buddy will be alright.”  
  
He said it plainly, like he did everything, hitting the nail dead on the head. She scoffed anyway.  
  
“When did I say anything about Buddy?”  
  
“You haven’t. But the way you keep glancing in the direction of the garage and your leg is shaking the table, I could infer.”  
  
She stilled said leg immediately.  
  
“Wow, way to preserve my dignity. Thanks, Sikuliaq.”  
  
“The look you keep giving the table as if about to stab it every twenty seconds helped.”  
  
That part was almost funny. She’d managed to wring little bits of humor from him now and again, it was familiar, in a weird way, to hear it now. He spoke again, when Vespa didn’t reply.  
  
“She’s very capable. I believe you know that more than I, Vespa.”  
  
She sighed, giving in. “Yeah, I know. She’s a wonder.”  
  
“And that wonder will come back to us soon.”  
  
“I just—ugh.” She gave up for a minute to get her words in a row. Sikuliaq waited patiently, as usual. “I don’t. Like. being apart from her anymore. Not when there’s the option not to be.”  
  
He nodded as if he understood. Maybe he did, actually. She didn’t know all that much about his past.  
  
A sound from the hall brought both their attentions away from the table. It sounded like—  
  
“Hello, darlings, you didn’t miss me too much, I hope?” Buddy. Smiling, dazzling, and _here_.  
  
Vespa couldn’t help but grin back. “Not at all, barely even noticed you were out.”  
  
Buddy’s smile turned fond and soft in the way it only ever had for Vespa. “Of course. Well, in _that_ case, I suppose you two won’t be wanting to join me in a game…?”  
  
She pulled out a deck of cards Vespa hadn’t laid her eyes on in a decade and a half. They used to play it to pass the time traveling on their own ships back in the day.  
  
“Where did you _find_ that? Didn’t they discontinue those years ago?” She couldn’t quite keep the wonder out of her voice. Buddy looked smug, like she always did, amazing someone like that.  
  
“A little second-hand stall in town had it. I take that as a yes?”  
  
“No shit, it’s a yes! Come on, set up.” Buddy laughed at her excitement. She always got this shine in her eye when Vespa got fired up about something.  
  
“Will you be joining us, Jet?”  
  
Oops. Vespa had forgotten he was there. He didn’t seem too bothered, though, instead just nodding and saying “I think I will. I’m a quick learner.”  
  
Buddy grinned that pleased grin of hers. “That you are, dear. Now, the game works like this…”  
  
Vespa tuned out the rules a little. She could probably play this in her sleep by now. It was… nice, sitting here with the both of them.  
  
She was always reluctant to share things like this, that had been _just_ Buddy and hers for so long. But she guessed it could be rewarding, in a way. Buddy’s smile when Sikuliaq caught onto something was its own reward. By now. She was glad that Buddy had someone to keep that spark in her heart when Vespa couldn’t. That took a while to get over, but… seeing the love of her life so happy just playing cards with the two of them? She could barely rationalize her jealousy from before. Who knows what could’ve become of Buddy if she hadn’t had anyone?  
  
The card game was fun. The unexpected competitive streak in Sikuliaq? _Priceless_. Vespa could do this for a few more months. With Buddy laughing at her side, she could do anything, really.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, I live off comments and kudos! You can find me @oretlumiere on twitter if you wanna check me out, have a good Valentine's Day everyone! <3


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